I'm pleased to announce that our church, Our Saviour Evangelical Free Church in Wheeling, will be hosting Dr. Paul Tripp for a conference called "Marriage, Family, and Friendship" on Saturday, April 19th. Here's how he describes it:
In an age that offers a diverse array of solutions for relational struggle, people easily find themselves tangled in a web of countless remedies. Married or single - we need a fresh understanding of God's plan for the key relationships of life. This conference takes you beyond the world of skills and techniques to examine the heart that shapes relationship patterns and problems.
If you're anywhere near the northwest suburbs of Chicago, I hope you'll seriously consider attending what I'm sure will be an edifying event. Registration info is available here.
The night before last I received emails from the sisters of my friend Pete (about whom I wrote last week) conveying details about his wake and funeral which will be held today and tomorrow. That news cemented the reality of Pete's departure more firmly in my mind and led to the further surfacing of sadness. Reading times and directions to the funeral home and church struck me further with the fact that later this week I would be standing beside my friend's casket, looking into the grieving eyes of bewildered family members and friends, and weeping with a few of the guys who years ago enjoyed each other's company at IHOP every other 
week. (For some reason that last line reminded me of the laughing fit we shared one morning while thinking about manly ways to order a particular specialty breakfast -- "Yes, I'll have the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity.......and a beer.")
Along with the funeral information, one of Pete's sisters sent excerpts from an email he had written a friend a few days before he died. The recipient had forwarded it to Pete's sister to comfort her with the knowledge that Pete's last days were filled with the joy of the Lord and that he had no regrets about his choice of a more meager existence in Belize. I was greatly consoled by his words as well and with her permission, I share them with you:
I am right where God wants me to be... That is worth more than all the money, air conditioning and conveniences you could dream of.
. . .
This has been so hard, but God is pulling me in more and more. And when it says that His lovingkindness is better than life I know that it is true.
. . .
We have so much....So much in the States. Don't take your eyes off Him. This thing here has been so hard, but God rewards me over and over and over with His presence and love. Those are better than all the treasures of the world. I don't think I would have this intimacy with Him if I had stayed in the States.
Pete's words remind me of those of another brother who was slain in the course of heeding Christ's call, Jim Elliot: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." The testimony of both men confront me with the disturbing question of how willing I am to loosen my grip on comforts and luxuries I've convinced myself are necessities for the sake of experiencing the superior joy of knowing Christ. It's a question of whether I trust that God is better than the greatest temporal pleasures I know. Everything comes back to the issue of God's goodness and our willingness to entrust ourselves to Him. One of our greatest weapons against sin and temptation is the conviction that God is good, that He is for us, and that the ways in which He calls us to walk, while not without sorrow, are paths of true liberty and joy. Calvin stated it well:
Never would Adam have dared to show any repugnance to the command of God if he had not been incredulous as to his word. The strongest curb to keep all his affections under due restraint, would have been the belief that nothing was better than to cultivate righteousness by obeying the commands of God, and that the highest possible felicity was to be loved by him (Institutes of the Christian Religion, II.1.4).
Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!
Mary Ann also sent a link to a tribute page created by some of Pete's students at Belize Christian Academy. Their verbal and facial expressions bear witness to the beautiful power of a life yielded to Christ.
Early morning telephone calls, at least in my experience, are rarely conveyors of good news. I was on the receiving end of such a call yesterday and it was no exception to the rule. I was jarred from semi-consciousness by the ringing of the telephone and immediately wondered who might be calling at such an hour. I thought it might be the person with whom I had a 9 AM appointment , letting me know that something came up that would preclude our meeting. If only it had been so minor.
On the other end of the line was my friend, Dave, with whom I have infrequent contact. He explained in a somber tone that his reason for calling so early was to reach me before I read my email. In the few moments between the conclusion of that sentence and the beginning of his next, I tried both to grip myself for whatever news he was about to share with me and to predict what it was. I failed on both counts. Dave proceeded to tell me that a mutual friend who has been
teaching history at a Christian school in Belize, Central America for two years had been brutally beaten to death while housesitting for a friend, a minister, who himself had been seriously beaten earlier this month. It's believed that this was a retaliatory measure by a native man in a relationship with one of the minister's daughters - a relationship of which the father disapproved. From what I've gathered from Belizean news sources, police are speculating that our friend Pete's murder is connected to the prior incident and that he may have been a victim of mistaken identity.
Pete's body was discovered in the backyard of the home beneath pieces of lumber. He was attacked from behind with a machete. There are no words to adequately capture the shock I experienced. It was nightmarish to think of someone I knew so well being the victim of such violence and contempt. It's almost unimaginable to think that Pete died so tragically.
Pete, Dave, a few other guys and I used to get together for breakfast on a biweekly basis almost 15 years ago to share what was going on in our lives, discuss theology and apologetics, and pray with and for each other. A local IHOP was our meeting place. A woman named Betty was our waitress. Over pancakes, crepes, scrambled eggs, and sausage we confided in each other about our temptations, dreams, joys, and sorrows. Oh, how I looked forward to those gatherings and hated when they ended. It was so good to have the company of brothers who shared a desire to know Christ better and who were committed to helping each other be more faithful to Him. At the time, Pete was working for the public works department of a local village doing janitorial work. From time to time he toyed with the thought of going back to school but he was filled with uncertainty and doubt about his ability to succeed. It was obvious to those of us who knew him that he was a keen thinker with a passion for learning so we encouraged him to pursue that aspiration.
Eventually, Pete did leave and completed a master's degree at Bemidji State University. At times he was shaken in his faith as he encountered historical scholarship built on the foundation of anti-Christian presuppositions. To his credit, however, this led him to increased study and prayer. He would frequently write to let me know about his interactions with fellow students (most of whom were younger than he) and professors. We exchanged many emails about matters such as the historical reliability of the New Testament texts, the sovereignty of God, election, epistemology, and an assortment of apologetic issues. The personal value of his correspondence, much of which I had saved and most of which he signed off with "Take care, bud," spiked with yesterday's news.
Pete returned to Illinois in search of a job in which he could utilize his education -- preferably in a historical museum somewhere. While he searched, he worked as a customer service representative for a nationally known paint company headquartered in the area. During this time he, Dave, and some other guys consistently met on Saturday mornings for extended prayer for one another, their friends and families, and the body of Christ stateside and abroad. Born out of the realization that prayer is a means of waging spiritual warfare, this weekly meeting came to be known as "Fight Club."
A few weeks ago Pete had sent me and some other guys a draft of an email he had composed to one of his former students who was struggling with doubts about the existence of God. Pete was asking for input concerning any revisions we thought would improve it. I couldn't identify any. It was thorough, well-researched, and compassionate. His care for the young man to whom he was writing was evident as was the fact that he took his questions and concerns seriously. Pete wrote as one who knew well the mental and emotional duress that accompanies doubt. It was a joy to see his earnest, skillful attempt to feed another hungry soul with the fruit yielded from his own languishing for truth. In response to a letter I had sent commending him for his letter to his former student, Pete wrote back and told me that he had accepted a position as an adjunct world history professor at a local university. The school at which he regularly taught is closed during the summer months so he began teaching a summer class at the university earlier this month. A transcript from one of Belize's local news programs quotes the school's vice president:
Peter was a gifted teacher. The students were having so much fun in his class. Whenever I’d say, "Peter how is class going?" he would say, "This is so much fun." He just radiated excitement, he just loved to teach and the students were responding to that.
Pete regularly read this blog. To the best of my recollection, he never left a comment but he frequently told me how much he appreciated it, especially the links that introduced him to new sites. Whenever I checked site traffic by location and saw an ISP in Belize, I was pretty confident it was Pete. From now on, if ever I see a visit from Belize, I'll be certain that it's not. It was satisfying to know that by means of the blog I was pointing Pete to resources that were helpful to his growth.
In his email to me, Pete related the following insight that I share in hope that it might encourage and inspire someone:
I had this weird thing happen in the last 6 months where I gave into the realization that I am a good teacher, an academic and an intellectual. I was thinking of myself as the janitor and truck driver for a long time and the reality is I am not those things. I have been really pouring into apologetics like Schaeffer, Nancy Pearcey, Darell Bock, and reading that big book by [Craig] Blomberg on the gospels. Crazy thing is I am understanding what previously I had so much difficulty understanding. God is pretty interesting like that. Things come when you need them. He has told me not to fear these apologetics and big questions,but to dive in and explore.
By saying that he wasn't a janitor or a truck driver, Pete wasn't disparaging either or taking a stance of superiority. There wasn't an air of snootiness about him. He knew what it was to work hard and he had the utmost of respect and admiration for those who made their living so doing. Pete took the truth of every person being the image of God seriously and I never knew him to be one to shy away from associating with someone on account of his or her socio-economic status, race, or educational level. I think what he was getting at was that he had, by the grace of God, become what he once thought he could never be. Not only that, he also learned the invaluable lesson that to acknowledge what one is good at needn't be an expression of sinful pride but can be an honest and grateful assessment of the gifts God has entrusted to be used in His faithful service.
Pete's testimony reminded me of James Sire's book, Habits of the Mind: Intellectual Life as a Christian Calling, in which he relates his own desire to become an intellectual and the obstacles (both internal and external) to his achieving that goal. As to what an intellectual is in general and a Christian intellectual in particular, Sire offers the following definitions, neither of which necessitates formal education:
An intellectual is one who loves ideas, is dedicated to clarifying them, developing them, criticizing them, turning them over and over, seeing their implications, stacking them atop one another, arranging them, sitting silent while new ideas pop up and old ones seem to rearrange themselves, playing with them, punning with their terminology, laughing at them, watching them clash, picking up the pieces, starting over, judging them, withholding judgment about them, changing them, bringing them into contact with their counterparts in other systems of thought, inviting them to dine and have a ball but also suiting them for service in workaday life.
A Christian intellectual is all of the above to the glory of God (27-28).
Farewell, for now, to a dearly loved Christian intellectual.
UPDATE - 7/19/07: A local Illinois newspaper has a writeup about Pete that includes reflections on his life from his dad.
Thabiti Anyabwile looks at the characteristics of meaningful friendships and what hinders men from forming them. He concludes with five helpful questions for assessing the quality and depth of our relationships:
- Is this person God's friend? (James 2:23)
- Can I share meaningful things with this person?
- Is my unwillingness to share connected with a character fault in the other or in myself (fear, distrust, etc)?
- Am I being too passive in the cultivation of meaningful friendships? If so, how will I change this pattern of behavior?
- Am I making myself available to other men for godly friendship?
In a section of his A Christian Directory addressed to new converts, Richard Baxter beautifully describes the power and value of godly friends to aid us in our spiritual maturing:
If you have a familiar friend that will defend you from error, and help you against temptations, and lovingly reprove your sin, and feelingly speak of God, and the life to come, inditing his discourse from the inward power of faith, and love, and holy experience; the benefit of such a friend may be more to you, than of the learnedest or greatest in the world. How sweetly will their speeches relish of the Spirit, from which they come! How deeply may they pierce a careless heart! How powerfully may they kindle in you a love and zeal to God and his commandments! How seasonably may they discover a temptation, prevent your fall, reprove an error, and recover your souls! How faithfully will they watch over you! How profitably will they provoke, and put you on; and pray with you fervently when you are cold; and mind you of the truth, and duty, and mercy, which you forget! It is a very great mercy to have a judicious, solid, faithful companion in the way to heaven.
I can think of two possible responses to that description. Baxter's words will either elicit a yearning for the kind of friendship he portrays or sincere gratitude for the friend(s) who serve us in the manner he describes. Yesterday I enjoyed the fruits of such a relationship with my good friend Sean. Sean and I have known each other for about 17 years. In that time we've ministered together and shared our fears, joys, anxieties, hopes, temptations, sins, and offbeat sense of humor with each other. We've tried to help each other live in the grace of God and live out our newness in Christ.
Yesterday I told Sean about some weights on my soul and asked him to pray with me which he did readily. He prayed for an extended period of time with remarkable thoroughness. His was not a prayer of vague generalities and well-worn cliches but one of specificity that evidenced both his knowledge of and concern for me. From early on in our friendship Sean's uncanny ability to read people struck me and it continues to do so. His discernment is extremely keen. In the course of his prayer he ministered to me in a number of the ways Baxter depicts, exposing and encouraging my heart with the truth of God's goodness and the full and finished work of Christ on my behalf. He didn't shirk back from praying for change I need to undergo out of fear of possibly hurting my feelings yet there was not the slightest trace of judgment or condemnation in his voice or words. His prayer left me thinking, "God is so much better than I can ever fathom."
While Sean was praying I got a brief glimpse into life as it should be. This was aided by the fact that his toddler son was in the same room of Sean's home, periodically squealing and laughing as he played with one of his toy trucks whose engine and horn sounds are pretty loud. Initially I found this distracting but it didn't take long for me to realize that this is what real Christian spirituality consists of - people who love each other acknowledging God's presence in the course of life's routines. A very great mercy indeed.
"Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, 'What? You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
The friendship Lewis wrote of is the salve to the loneliness Blamires described in The Christian Mind (see the quote in the banner above). Like many of you, I’ve experienced the painful solitariness of not having someone to talk with who shared the doubts, thoughts, cares, and aspirations that stirred within. I also know the joyous relief of encountering people who, upon hearing my heart, asked, “You too?” Jerry Foote is one of those traveling companions for whom and to whom I’m deeply grateful.
Jerry supervised my pastoral internship when I was a seminarian. When it was done, I had the pleasure and privilege of serving with him on the pastoral staff of the church I’ve served for almost 13 years. By his words and example, I learned a lot about what it means to be a shepherd of God’s people. I remember frequently asking myself, “Why didn’t I think to do that?” when he humbly served others in unglamorous but loving ways. I also recall with fondness, conversations about theology, literature, evangelical fads, and bad puns (Jerry’s, not mine). Because I so appreciated his friendship, I was very sad when, a few years ago, he moved away to serve as the senior pastor of a church in Iowa.
Jerry’s familiarity with the Old Testament and ability to trace themes through the Bible are impressive. He helps people see that the Bible isn’t an assortment of unrelated texts but a unified record of God’s redeeming activity. Despite emphatic professions to believe in biblical inspiration and authority, Christians frequently adopt interpretive practices that contradict this affirmation. Whenever we disregard literary considerations, such as context, we fail to treat the biblical texts as authoritative. This has always been of great concern to Jerry.
I received an email from Jerry a few days ago notifying me that he has taken up blogging. This is welcome news because I’m one of many who have encouraged him to write (though I had books, not blogs, in mind). Jerry’s blog is called Read with Open Eyes and is devoted to commonly misinterpreted and misapplied passages of Scripture. In his blog's banner Jerry says:
Many things we think the Bible teaches aren't really there. We need to read the Bible with our eyes open. That is, pay attention to what is actually written, even if it overrules things we have always believed. It is the Bible (not our concepts about the Bible, or sermons we have heard, or songs that we learned) that is God's revelation to us.
I'm looking forward to profiting again from Jerry's insights and hope you'll avail yourself of them as well. As you do, you may even find yourself thinking, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one."
I'm pleased to announce that our church, Our Saviour Evangelical Free Church in Wheeling, will be hosting Dr. Paul Tripp for a conference called "Marriage, Family, and Friendship" on Saturday, April 19th. Here's how he describes it: 
